So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
