Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
