I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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