Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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