Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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