hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
