i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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