There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i jhust puked up my retainher.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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