Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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