My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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