i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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