brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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