Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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