when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
