her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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