Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
