Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize