how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You can't motorboat a personality
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
