Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
