i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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