I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
