I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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