My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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