i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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