Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
