You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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