Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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