Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
