he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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