you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
