this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
