i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
