someone threw a dead crab at me
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
