Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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