First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
