Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize