i love accidental penises.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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