He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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