Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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