You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
NoShamevember. You game?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize