Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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