He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize