Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
