Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
