i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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