I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
