Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
