The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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