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That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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