it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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