I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
