he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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