Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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