loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
