I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
