I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
