WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
