She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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