Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
