So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
In America we eat man semen.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
