have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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