i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
