hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize