were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
