im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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