Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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