Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
