Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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