how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Can you bring me the toilet please
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
