hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize