it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize