Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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