how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
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