textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I can't put those talents on a resume
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
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