grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
