i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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