when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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