Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
A+ Viking dick
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